Balo maa...

I am in love.  Her name is Kajol, and she giggled for me for the first time today.
I was sitting with her in my arms and feeding her this afternoon, when one of the masys came up and began to imitate the way that Kajol chews.  She started to talk to Kajol in either hindi or bengali (I still can't tell which is which).  I don't know WHAT she said, but when she was finished, Kajol gets this huge smile on her face.  Now, I was pretty excited about this because I've only ever seen her smile once before.  The masy talked to her a bit more and her smile grows wider and she giggle-squeals in that way that young kids do.  I am ecstatic.  The masy walks away, but Kajol does not stop smiling.  We sit there together for another minute or so, both giggling and smiling as if the funniest thing in the world just happened.  Eventually, I had to go back to feeding her, so we worked on that for a while.  Still, although she's not a big fan of feeding time, that big smile of hers continued to break out between bites for another ten minutes.  
I'm sure you all have heard the saying about loving someone so much it hurts.
I know exactly how that feels now.

That will be 36, madam. Thank you.

Sheesh.  Everyone is leaving.  There are only three of us Seattle kids left:  Jeremiah, Devin, and myself.  It's really weird not to have the others here because we became such a community over the past few weeks.  As Anthony, who is not a Seattleite but was kind of adopted by our group, and I were eating the traditional "Dinner at 7 at Khalsa's" the other night with a new friend we made that afternoon, we were both very much surprised by how quiet our table seemed.  We had gone from a group big enough to take up two tables to a group of 3.  Jeremiah and Devin were out with some other friends of theirs, which is why they weren't there either.  Kolkata definitely does feel quite a bit different now that our usual routine has been broken.  But certainly not a bad different.  It will simply be a lesson in making friends.  Or perhaps getting to know the casual acquaintances I've already made.  Either way, I'm looking forward to the next few weeks despite missing everyone who has left.

Now, down to business.  The Doctor came to Shishu Bhavan last Saturday in order to evaluate our three new children (I need to stop calling them babies, as they're not.), Sonali, Jyotsni, and darling Kajol (I also shouldn't show favoritism, but I can't help it.).  He normally comes every Saturday but had been working in some rural villages to the North for a while and Sister had asked him not to come by during Christmas because we were so busy preparing the program, so this was his first visit in about 2 months.  I wasn't aware that he was coming back so I missed that first visit, but yesterday I went in the afternoon to see and talk to him and take pictures so that we could make profiles for the new kids detailing the types of exercises they should be doing.  
I really enjoyed getting a chance to talk to the Dr. and learn a bit more about what my children are going through, what will help them improve, and why.  Most of the children currently housed in the handicapped section of my floor now have Cerebral Palsy of varying degrees of intensity and affecting various limbs of their bodies.  We went through the exercise routine for each of the three new children and talked about his work with Cerebral Palsy in children, which is his special focus.  He works at two MC homes, Shishu Bhavan and Daya Dan, an institution in India centered around the treatment of Cerebral Palsy, and also dedicates some of his time to going into rural villages to work with families that cannot afford to have their children taken care of professionally.  For these families, he gives them an introduction to Cerebral Palsy, evaluates their child, and helps them learn a daily exercise routine for their child.
This conversation really piqued my interest.  Because we have so many children with Cerebral Palsy, I had done a little bit of research on Cerebral Palsy, but never really got too into it.  My focus lately has mainly been on the childcare aspect of what I'm doing and not so much on dealing with their disabilities.  However, after hearing what he had to say about my kids, the importance of dealing with the disability as well as with the other aspects of the child's life really hit me.  Doing tasks like feeding, changing diapers and playing with the children is obviously very important, but each of those is affected in some way by the Cerebral Palsy.  I definitely felt more confident while exercising with Kajol this afternoon having seen the Doctor the afternoon before and understanding why it was that I was doing what I was doing.  I'm going to try and continue to go to Shishu Bhavan on Saturday afternoons so that I can have a few more chats with the Doctor and learn more about the other kids at Shishu.
Also, this is probably a bit conceited, but it's a lot of fun being the one that the new volunteers go to with questions because I've been there so long.  I love getting to tell people about my children and helping new volunteers learn about the kids. 

Oh baba, time is going by so fast.  In thinking about how many Saturdays I'll have to talk to the Doctor, it hit me that I've only got a month and a day left.  Wow. 

Namaste, all.
Melissa

Sundery, Sundery, I love you. Sundery, Sundery, yes I do...

It has been a long day.

I did not go to the volunteer breakfast this morning, as a Sudder St. friend of mine was teaching me how to make his delicious Nepali Chutney.  I went straight to Shishu Bhavan from there and got there a little bit early, just as the masys were beginning to arrive.  As I was sitting on the bench outside my kids'  floor, one of the masys, the one I respect the most, came to me and said, "Sundery dead." and made the sign of the cross.  I didn't really hit me at first, but as soon as it did, I rushed over to the volunteer breakfast area to see one of the other volunteers who I  knew was particularly attached to her.  She wasn't there, so I just went back to Shishu Bhavan and got started with the kids.
It was really hard to see the way the masys walked around in a daze all morning, and heartbreaking to see the one masy who knew her best and took care of her most begin to cry as she stood in front of the empty bed.
The woman who died, Sundery, was 39 years old and had been at Shishu Bhavan all of her life.  She was severely deformed, and rarely ever left her bed.  She could not speak, but could smile, cry, and show other forms of emotion.  She was beautiful.
This is one of the reasons why I get so upset when people criticize the way the Missionaries work.  The MCs worked hard to keep Sundery alive and well and allowed her to live much longer than she should have.  Despite the fact that she could not move or talk, Sundery was able to bring joy into the lives of millions of Sisters, masys, volunteers, and visitors with just her smile.  Her life could have been wasted, but it was not.  
I know that she was in a lot of pain and that God is taking care of her now, but it was so hard to sit there feeding baby Khajol with that empty bed in front of me.  
Please, everyone, keep her in your thoughts and prayers.  And remember always that a smile can mean a lot to a person.

Here, throw me the baby!

Alright.  I have the afternoon completely off, absolutely no plans, for the first time in goodness knows how long, so I decided that now would be a good time to write about my Christmas.

I will begin with the volunteers' Christmas drama.  The whole thing was a bit haphazard and thrown together last minute, as we really didn't get around to starting on it until we only had about 2 weeks left to write, block, practice, and perform it.  But despite that, I think we did quite well with it.  The basic idea of the drama is that Mother Theresa, who has been looking for a home to begin her work but has  not yet found somewhere, has a dream the night of Christmas 1948.  In the dream, we are at Mother House where a group of MC Sisters is preparing for Christmas.  There is a knock at the door, and Mary and Joseph enter.  Slowly, the rest of the nativity also comes in, including the baby Jesus, and the various branches of the Missionaries of Charity join them.  It ends with a touching scene where Mother Theresa asks Mary to join her in bringing the baby Jesus to Sr. Nirmala, Mother's 2nd Sister.
We performed on Christmas Eve, just before Mass.  There were a few little mishaps and last minute changes, but people seemed to enjoy it and I think it went well.  Sophie, Jenn, and myself all played MC Sisters, John was a shepherd, and Jeremiah and Devin were Mary and Joseph, so all of the Seattle group still in Kolkata participated.
After the drama, we all went to Mass, which was lovely.  Afterwards, people gathered in the courtyard for hot chocolate and fruit cake (there's so much incredibly good fruitcake in India!) to mingle and wish each other Merry Christmas.  I must admit, up until this point, it didn't really feel much like Christmas, but having all of those people gathered together, smiling and chatting about Christmas plans really brought out the holiday spirit.  It was good to have that finally happen.

Christmas morning, after a breakfast of fruitcake buns, nutella, and chai at Mother House, I went to Shishu Bhavan.  All of the kids were adorable dressed up in their fancy Christmas outfits with bangles for the girls and shined shoes for the boys.  As we had had quite a few Christmas celebrations already, with the performances of the Shishu Bhavan Christmas drama, there wasn't much of a celebration that morning.  I think it was best that way, though.  It was just nice to get to spend a quiet morning with my kids.
Coming home that afternoon, I stopped a number of times to talk to some of the shop, food stand, and travel agency owners I've grown fond of over the past few months.  I couldn't help but think of how lonely Seattle is going to feel when I get home and, walking down the street, there won't be someone every few meters who I can stop to chat with.  In any case, I had a number of good conversations.
The Seattle group had planned to get together with a few other volunteers to carol while we all walked to Nrimal Hriday, Mother's first home at Kalighat temple, to volunteer together in the afternoon.  Unfortunately, a few of us were sick, so we ended up caroling to the Metro station and Sophie, Jenn, and I rode the Metro with 2 other volunteers to Kalighat, leaving Jer, Dev, and John to get some rest.  Caroling was a lot of fun; we got a number of weird looks and a few people joined in.  I'm also really glad that a few of us still chose to go to Kalighat together.  I haven't been in a long time because I'm now helping with volunteer orientations.  But that places has never failed, not once, to put me at peace with the world.  I have never left there without a smile on my face.  There has been a lot of changeover, and some of my favorite ladies are gone, but I got to see quite some of my old friends and I made some new ones.  I did dishes, which was always a relaxing activity, and hung out with fellow volunteers on the roof afterwards, drinking chai.  I really do love that roof.  Something about it is so peaceful.
The final plan for the evening was dinner with the Seattle group (we really have started doing everything together, we're a single entity now) and a few other volunteer friends of ours at a fancy Italian restaurant called Fire & Ice.  After a confusing taxi ride and walking about half of the way there, we arrived about a 1/2 hour late for our reservation, but luckily early enough that not all the tables were full.  The food, although truthfully only mediocre, was incredible because it did not taste like masala.  I do love Indian food, but it is so nice to break away every so often.  The company was also delightful, although Jer sadly had to stay home because he was quite ill.  It was definitely a good close to Christmas day.

Yesterday, Boxing Day, was for the most part a normal day.  But in the evening, the Seattle group got together for our exclusively Seattle Christmas celebration.  The six of us got together over a picnic of tuna fish & veggie sandwiches, fruit salad, Pringles, M&Ms, Oreos, and fudge and just had a fun time talking and being together.  We had decided that instead of getting gifts for each other, we would work together on getting gifts for our Indian friends on Sudder St., so we worked a bit more on getting those together.  We've grow quite fond of our occasional Seattle picnics, and this was definitely, I think, the best way we could have celebrated Christmas together.  I love those kids.

There was one final Christmas celebration, that I'm aware of, today.  All of the MC homes with children were invited to a party at the governor's mansion, and as John, Jenn, and I all work at kids' homes, we were all invited to come along.  The party was a lot of fun.  The governor's mansion was enormous, and though we didn't get to see much of it, it was obvious that it was quite grand.  The party was on the back lawn, which was absolutely enormous.  There was a bouncy house for the kids, although the volunteers definitely all took a turn in it as well, a live band, and a group of Indian dancers.  It was really nice to see the kids outside of their one room at Shishu Bhavan, running around, dancing, bouncing, and being the energetic little fireballs that they are.  We probably all got fed a bit too much sugar and did a bit too much frolicking, as everyone was sleeping on the bus ride home, but it was entirely worth it.  I love my kids with all of my heart and it was so good to see their gigantic toothy grins.

So, all in all, my Christmas in Kolkata was absolutely amazing, even if it did take a while before it felt like Christmas.  I hope that everyone else had incredible Christmases, and like I said, I'd love to hear all about them.  
And now, I will relax.  Finally. 

A few days ago, I went with one of the many Irish ladies I've met here in Kolkata, named Mags, to visit a village about an hour outside of Kolkata, by train & cycle rickshaw.  We went in order to deliver some monies to help a local Anglo-Indian woman, Susie, add 2 classrooms to a school that had recently been started up at the village which was being run by Susie.  Mags was helping out a friend of hers who is having some trouble back home.  The friend is funding the building of the school and watching over the start-up until Susie is able to run it completely on her own.  
A little background on Susie:  She was a teacher before this school started up, but had to quit because she lost the ability to walk and could not get out to the school where she worked.  
Upon arriving at the village, we were greeted by Susie's son who just turned 16 a few days ago.  He and his brother had to quit school for a few years in order to help out with household chores so that her husband could get a job and keep money coming in.  The very first thing this boy says to Mags is, "Auntie you cannot come in.  I am studying my books.  It is very messy."  This was the kids' day off from school.  And this boy was studying because he was finally getting the chance to go back to school.  How beautiful is that?
Anyways, we went next to visit the school, where Susie told me a bit about the curriculum, the changes that were to be made to the building, and the children that she and one other local teacher were taking care of.  The children live in the classroom during the school year, so it is much like a boarding school.  Susie also lives in the classroom because there is no way for her to get around easily, so it makes more sense for her to just stay there.  They are teaching the standard Indian curriculum so that when the children are ready to move to another school, they will be on the same level as all the other children.
The classroom itself was really quite nice.  Nothing by Western standards, but you can tell that a lot of time and love went into it and that the children have it really well there.  They also have a computer, which you can tell by the way Susie lit up when I inquired about the computer classes that was listed on the childrens' grade sheet, is a rarity for smaller schools.  It's only the one computer, so only one of the classes have it at their disposal, but she was definitely proud of it.
All this was wonderful, but what was really touching is how open she was about her life and how easily she welcomed me into her home and workplace.  Immediately, she offered to have her husband make chai, and I was also given an omelette that I hadn't asked for.  She gave me some background on her husband and sons, as well as some problems that she was currently having with her sister.  She even went a bit into her struggles when she lost the ability to walk and her health began to deteriorate so much that she could not talk.  She's obviously doing much better now.  
It's just so beautiful the way that the Indian people are so open with you.  Nothing is hidden.  People bathe on the street.  They are willing to tell you all about their life having known you for only a few minutes.  They welcome you into their homes and feed you until you're ready to burst.  I can't help but love it.
We also visited a Hindu family that lives behind the school and who are less well off than Susie's family currently is.  They were incredibly excited to see Mags, who knows them quite well, and took us both immediately inside.  We were then offered sweets.  Now, this isn't any ordinary offer, though.  The sweets they offered were not in the home, but had to be purchased at the local sweet shop about 5 minutes' walk away.  But that trip was made with joy.  They were just happy to be able to share what they could with us.

The day before this and the rest of that afternoon were absolutely exhausting for me, as I felt like I never stopped moving.  But having that time in between where people were simply excited to have me sit there and listen to them or eat sweets with them was absolutely wonderful.  It's afternoons like that that give you the energy and the ambition to keep going in this city that never stops.  Thank goodness for teachers and Hindus.

An official announcement

Ahem.

I have changed my flight home.
I will be arriving at LAX airport on 29 February 2008 at 7:20 PM.  I will then spend some time with my family, and will leave for Seattle on 11 March 2008 at 12:40 PM, arriving in Seattle at 6:01 PM (with a layover in San Fran). 

I love and miss all of you back home.  But I need some more time with Kolkata to feel ready to leave.  I will see you all in March.  Be prepared to be assaulted by my love.

Namaste,
Melissa

Ta ta, namasted, goodbye, okay

So, Friday was definitely not one of my better days.  My morning at Shishu Bhavan went well, but the events that followed were frustrating and upsetting.  I was considering just hanging around my room for a while in order to be mopey, but I hadn't gotten a chance to go to Kalighat lately as I'm now also helping out with volunteer orientations Monday, Wednesday, Friday afternoons, so I chose to not be a bum and visit my lovely ladies instead.  It was definitely the best decision I made today, and perhaps even this week.
I had been hoping to be able to do some laundry in order to get out my aggression on the bedsheets and frocks, but when I entered the washroom, they seemed pretty well staffed so I headed to the women's section.  I visited a few women that I had talked to before, then sat down next to a woman I hadn't visited with yet.  I started asking her how she was, and she began to tell me a story I didn't understand.  I must admit, I wasn't giving her my full attention, so I was mighty surprised when she began to cry.  She had been touching the bandage on her head, so I knew that she was telling me about how she had received her wound, and it was clearly a hard story for her to tell.  As I comforted her and began to listen to her with my full attention, I realized that any pain and suffering I have felt in my life does not even begin to compare to what she had gone through, which she was telling me all about right now.  And then, she smiled.  She finished her story, dried her own tears, and smiled.  And that was the biggest comfort that anyone could have ever given me.  To know that my own suffering was not even a fraction of what she had felt in her life and she could still come out smiling was such an inspiration to me.  
Needless to say, the rest of my evening went quite well.  I had a cup of chai on the roof of Kalighat and watched the people below, I went home and had dinner with the incredible friends I've made here, and had a good nights' sleep.  And I smiled.

In other news, we have two darling new babies at Shishu Bhavan.  Their names are Sonali and Jyotsni.  They were sent to us from one floor down, the baby ward, because they were both diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy.  Sonali is taking a while to adapt to the new environment and continues to look a little bit scared whenever she's away from Jyotsni.  Jyotsni, on the other hand, has taken to our floor quickly and is a little spitfire, rolling around in her crib to get from one place to the other!  I enjoy them both immensely.
Shishu Bhavan Christmas play practice continues, but because I have chosen to spend more time with the physically handicapped children, I haven't been helping out too much with that.  I do, however, have a new project!  I am making posters for the 6 new children we have taken in recently.  I felt honored to receive this project as it allows me a chance to share what I've learned about the kids in the last 2 months.  I feel it's a really good way for me to share my experience here with others.

I still love and miss you all!

Namaskar,
Melissa